A Dark Place On The Strand

by Scott Von Doviak

About the Author: Scott Von Doviak's debut novel Charlesgate Confidential was published in September 2018 by Hard Case Crime. It was named one of the top ten crime novels of the year by the Wall Street Journal. Von Doviak is also the author of three books on film and pop culture, including Hick Flicks: The Rise and Fall of Redneck Cinema. He reviews television for The Onion’s AV Club, and is a former film critic for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. He lives in Austin, Texas.

Excerpt

I’m in New Orleans on business, waiting on a client at Checkpoint Charlie’s, a tavern at the bottom of the Quarter in the triangle formed by Esplanade, Frenchman, and Decatur. A sign on the wall reads Suds and Duds, because this is not only a dive bar, it’s a laundromat. I stop in here whenever I’m in town and wonder why this business model hasn’t caught on everywhere. I’d love to run a chain of laundromat bars. That would beat the hell out of what I do for a living now, which is kill people.

Then again, if you could make money with such a chain, wouldn’t someone else already be doing it? My line of work, at least there’s job security. It’s not seasonal and no machine can replace me. There’s no health plan, though. No retirement package, but plenty of vacation time. I only do a few jobs a year for select clients. One of them is coming through the door now. I wave him over.

“Mr. Sunbeam, I presume?” I’m pretty sure that’s not his real name, but that’s what he called himself when he contacted my agent. Yeah, I have an agent, just like Brad Pitt. One of many things we have in common, no doubt.

“Mike Fischlin?” he says, taking a seat. That’s not my real name either. I like to switch up my aliases, but they all come from the 1980 Houston Astros, the team of my youth. Fischlin only played one game that year. He had one at-bat and he struck out. I must be running out of names. I never use Nolan Ryan, though. That one’s a little too obvious.

“That’s right,” I say. “Would you like something to drink?”

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