The Butler Didn't Do It

by Adam Beau McFarlane

About the Author: Adam McFarlane is an active member of the Mystery Writers of America and the Private Eye Writers of America. His stories appeared in Thuglit, Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine, and Yellow Mama.

Excerpt

DEAREST NEPHEW NOEL, the telegram read, I WILL LEAVE JUNE FIRST TO TOUR THE MEDITERRANEAN STOP WILL YOU MANAGE MY AFFAIRS STOP HUGS AND KISSES FROM YOUR FAVORITE AUNT.

Auntie Kate’s affairs were paying the laundress and keeping the key to the linen closet, but I saw an opportunity for jazz and parties in the world’s biggest city.

LOOKING FORWARD TO VISITING NEW YORK FOR THE FIRST TIME, I replied. WILL BE THERE FASTER THAN JESSE OWENS.

My arrival instantly un-realized those plans. Far from steel skyscrapers and subway trains, she lived in a country house much like the family estate of her childhood before automobiles, canned ale, and modernity. There was no chance to change plans; she left her side of the pond the same day that I did mine.

Adding to a ledger full of directions, Auntie wired instructions. DEAREST NEPHEW NOEL STOP I HOST A BRIDGE PARTY FOR THE STROUD FAMILY STOP PLEASE CARRY ON FOR ME STOP YOU WILL LOVE THEM STOP HUGS AND KISSES FROM VALENCIA.

Not knowing her itinerary, I could not reply.

The only live-in help was her man Preston. The housekeeper and maid were part-time. Her late husband Irving’s leftover, Preston, was tall, slim, and maintained his pencil mustache with perfected craftsmanship.

“Preston,” I asked, pointing to the telegram, “What do you make of these people? How exactly does my aunt want me to invite them over?”

“She already has, sir.”

“How’s that? This came for me just yesterday.”

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