Suddenly, Everything Went Black

by Chris Bullard

About the Author: Chris Bullard's publishing credits include science fiction short stories in Perihelion, Nebula Rift, The Sideshow and other magazines; Fear, a collection of his science fiction and horror short stories; and two full length and five chapbooks of poetry including Florida Man.

Excerpt

I was just finishing the Saturday NYT crossword (15 minutes, not bad) when she walked in. She had the flowing crimson hair of a Pre-Raphaelite (I mean one of the models and not the artists who were sort of louche) and an IQ that would give a heart attack to a MIT professor.

“You must be Bart Steadfast,” she purred as she flipped her long red hair toward the identifier (“Bart Steadfast Finder of Lost Objects”) painted on the glass door to my office. “I hear that you find lost objects.”

“That’s the tautology, sweetheart,” I growled, as I let the newspaper slip seductively to my desk.

“I’m missing something, Mr. Steadfast, and I think you’re the person to find it for me,” she said, twisting a scarlet tress around her finger like a strangler wrapping a scarf around the throat of someone with lacquered nails for a face.

“What makes you think I’m the guy for this job, doll baby?” I queried while wondering how long it would take for her to tell me her name. Was I supposed to guess?

“I know a guy in cosmology down at the Institute. He said that you had helped them out with a case.”

“Yeah, they were looking for some missing dark matter in the universe. I found it for them. No big deal.” I offered modestly.

“Well, maybe, you’ve heard of the von Radium diamond tiara. Someone snatched it from my palatial estate last week.”

“You don’t say, sister,” I murmured while considering whether what I’d just said was a declarative or an interrogatory sentence.

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