On July 7, I woke up with a tremendous set of breasts. Although there was a woman in my bed, these boobs were attached to my chest not hers. Three problems occurred to me as I stared down at their curving roundness. One really big problem and a couple of pretty bad ones.
Problem #1: I'm a man.
That was the biggie. So big that, when I first saw the breasts, I cried out—a weird, awful noise somewhere between a choke and a howl—and sat up in bed. I'm what you would call a man of few words and, before this morning, a man of no weird noises. So the choking cry thing was almost as shocking as the boobs.
Problem #2: I work as the Loans-in-Default Manager for an outfit called Tide U Over Loans Inc.