Mexican Radio

by Pete Barnstrom

About the Author: Pete Barnstrom is an award-winning screenwriter and filmmaker whose projects have played at theaters and film festivals all over the world. His latest feature film, "Satanic Hispanics," went into wide release in September 2023. He's shot documentaries in Greenland for the National Science Foundation, made movies with the Blair Witch guys (not that one), and seen one of his films screened at the Smithsonian.

Excerpt

The big man introduced himself as Herb Campuss. Then he added, “But that’s not the name I use on the air.”

“The air?”

He smiled. “I’m Wild Man Whittaker.”

He said it like Marteens was supposed to know the name, so when he got no reaction, he tried another.

“Moondoggie McGilicuddy?”

Marteens shook his head.

“Jumpin’ Jackie Joy, Your Boogie-Woogie Boy? You know, on the radio!”

Marteens pointed at the man’s wide window, frost on the outside. “I don’t think we get the Minnesota radio signals out in LA,” he said.

The man who was only sometimes Herb Campuss showed teeth more fit for TV than radio. “That’s where you’re wrong, baby,” he said, just like a Hollywood executive probably would have to Rock or Doris. “Southern California is one of my biggest markets. The kiddos go koo-koo for my late night platter parties.”

Marteens didn’t have anything to say to that. He wasn’t a kiddo.

He’d gotten the call, a resonant male voice, deep and warm like a wade though butterscotch sundae topping. It asked if he was the private investigator who spoke Spanish. It asked if he was available. It asked could he fly up to Minnesota for a day?

Marteens had never seen the Great Lakes. He agreed.

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