Backstory

by Ricky Sprague

About the Author: Ricky Sprague is a writer and cartoonist whose work has appeared in MYSTERY MAGAZINE, ELLERY QUEEN MYSTERY MAGAZINE, MYSTERICAL-E, MAD, and CRACKED, and various short story book collections, including four published in 2021: MYSTERY MAGAZINE’s DIE LAUGHING hardcover collection, ASININE ASSASSINS from Smart Rhino, CRIMEUCOPIA: AS IN FUNNY HA-HA OR JUST PECULIAR from Murderous Ink, and Moonstone’s DOMINO PATRICK: DAUGHTER OF DOMINO LADY collection.

Excerpt

There are people who are masters of what they do, and it’s a real honor to see them in action. Like that guy who makes giant paintings of Jimi Hendrix while Jimi Hendrix music is playing. Or that guy who plays the Super Mario Bros sound effects on the violin while the game is going. Add to that list one Slip-N-Fall McCall, a grifter who worked a variety of low-level, under-the-radar kind of scams. His preferred wheeze was the slip-and-fall, whereby in which he would slip and fall in some public establishment, then threaten a lawsuit—at which point, hopefully, the ownership of the aforementioned establishment would settle such potential litigation out of court.

The spill he took in the Nic & Billy’s dining room was a beaut. Even knowing who he was and what he did, there wasn’t the slightest whiff of halibut. I had to admit that my heart stopped and I felt sympathetic pain as his feet shot out in front of him and he seemed to hang there, suspended in space, arranging his body for maximum drama with minimum pain.

When he hit the floor, it was with a magical thud.

His agony groans were subdued but affecting. He drew attention to the crack in the wood floor without being obvious. Adults cooed and crouched over him. Children cried. Slip was a capital-A Artist of the spill.

Also, he was a capital-D Dummy.

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