The Cost of Living

by Saul Golubcow

About the Author: Saul Golubcow has been at work for the past few years writing a series of stories about Holocaust survivors in the United States, trying to show complexity of character within each survivor and within the survivor communities. What, he wondered thinking about one of his favorite genres, the detective story, would it be like to portray a Holocaust survivor as a private eye in America 50 years ago? In "The Cost of Living," he addresses trauma and resilience, and loss that can never be regained.

Excerpt

That morning, May 11, 1972, I had completed my first-year law school exams. I thought an afternoon out watching a ball game with my grandfather was just what I needed. I planned to pick him up, quick lunch, and out to Shea Stadium to see the Mets take on the hated Dodgers.

I burst into his office. The sign on the door’s smoked glass read: FRANK WOLF DETECTIVE AGENCY. Grandfather was sitting in his swivel chair with feet propped on his desk cluttered with newspapers, magazines, and books. He was reading a Ross Macdonald novel. Bookcases covered every wall.

“Hello Zaida,” I said using the Yiddish word for grandfather. “Tell Lew Archer you’ve got to go because I’ve got plans for us!”

Grandfather didn’t answer. When he read, he didn’t like to be disturbed. I chose to risk his annoyance and announced my plans for the afternoon.

“Nuh,” he said with a pinched smile. He spoke English with a cultured European accent. “I know for you to talk into my reading means to go to the Shea must be important. But how can I help you? You see,” he said with a sweeping gesture, “I am at my occupation. Can I leave the office on a business day?”

It may have been weeks since anyone had walked into his office unannounced. He was lucky to get a call a week from a prospective client. But if the truth would hurt Grandfather’s feelings, why shouldn’t I speak around the truth?

“Zaida, you deserve a half day off once in a while. If a client calls or comes to the office, I’m sure they’ll try again tomorrow.”

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