Return of The Velvet Noodle

by Arthur Davis

About the Author: Arthur Davis is a management consultant who has been quoted in The New York Times and in Crain’s New York Business, taught at The New School and interviewed on New York TV News Channel 1. He has been published in a collection, nominated for a Pushcart Prize, received the 2018 Write Well Award for excellence in short fiction and, twice nominated, received Honorable Mention in The Best American Mystery Stories 2017. Additional background at www.TalesOfOurTime.com.

Excerpt

I like it quiet. Very quiet.

I find noise, especially the kind spouting out of the mouths of lesser minds, unimaginably irritating and contributes little to mankind’s precarious future.

So obviously, and with very few exceptions, I don’t like people. They’re a vastly overrated, self-indulgent species constitutionally driven to excess and self-interest.

And my ankles were itching. Usually a sign of oncoming danger or swarms of pigeons were approaching. The doorbell rang. I didn’t want to get up. It was too much of a commitment for so early on this dreary October morning.

I remembered my appointment with Lieutenant Christopher McClellan, the bulky balding head of British Ultra Intelligence Service, also referred to as Ultra, or Martha. And sometimes Uncle Sydney.

Voices from another world as Levlin, my butler, let McClellan in. He’s a good cop. Smart. Clever. Droll. Patient. And has a record of being involved in more convictions than arrests. I meant to ask him how that math works but usually forget.

A culture aficionado, he was on the board of the Tate Modern and the Royal Opera House and as a rabid foodie it was rumored he had more influence over the menu at Harrods than I did.

“Velvet?”

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